Am I having a Midlife Crisis?

Yes that is exactly what I said to myself as I caught my own flustered, red-faced reflection.

Let’s start by saying that I empower women in their 40s. My coaching practice, Rise and Vibe, is built on the foundations of living life fully and standing in your power from your 40s onwards.

Yet… there I was wobbling in Globetrotter, trying on hiking boots on one of those fake mountain floor testers. Being an accident-prone pro, I tripped, almost fell off then caught my balance, and stared at me a 44-year-old woman dangling in the mirror.

“I’m having a midlife crisis.”

A little rewind…

At the start of the year, I booked a hiking trip to Bhutan. I’ve never hiked before. This is an incredibly rare and super big adventure with WHOA Travel, which is a fabulous women empowered adventure travel company. I’m in safe hands. The kids will be fine with their Papa, and who knows, Grandma might even fly in as an extra pair of hands – hello mum if you are reading this!

In that moment, trying to stay upright, this prickle of embarrassing self doubt turned an empowering woohoo decision into ridicule.

What on earth am I doing?
This is not what you do!
The only explanation my brain could come up with was:
“You’re having a midlife crisis. Dump the boots. Forget the trip. Go home.”

This hasn’t been the only time I’ve wobbled.

Back in Ibiza (which I can just about share with you now as it’s been two years) I thought it was a good idea to have a subtle shade of rose-gold pink in my blonde hair. Instead, the stylist kinda didn’t get the memo, and dyed the top of my hair dark purple and the rest bubblegum pink. On reflection (and according to the WhatsApp chat), it wasn’t that hideous! I apparently looked like a cool version of Jem from the 1980s cartoon and I felt truly outrageous not in a good way.

I cried in the shower as I tried to rinse it out. My inner critic (I call her Janet) started scribbling away like a headmistress, making notes on all the rules I was apparently breaking: what I should and shouldn’t look like at this age.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

So where does all this come from?

Would I have ever questioned myself in my twenties? Absolutely not.
Thirties? Not even. Yet somehow, four years after hitting 40, those whispers started to creep in.

That’s the thing about our beliefs, they sneak up on you while you’re trying on hiking boots in a German adventure shop, or walking around Ibiza with pink hair.

Have you had moments where you’ve questioned yourself?
Or maybe looked across at someone else (maybe you saw me in Ibiza) and thought, “They’re having a midlife crisis.”

So what is a midlife crisis?

The phrase midlife crisis was first coined in 1965 by Canadian psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques. He noticed that people in their late 30s or early 40s began confronting their own mortality. For some, it led to creative blocks or dramatic life shifts. Pop culture took the idea and ran with it.

What’s really interesting from the research is that Gail Sheehy, a journalist and author best known for her 1976 book Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life, introduced the idea of “predictable crises” as natural life transitions.

Sheehy was one of the first writers to explore midlife transitions in both men and women, offering a more inclusive and hopeful view than the outdated crisis model. She believed these transitions weren’t signs of falling apart but opportunities for reinvention and personal growth.

She interviewed hundreds of adults navigating change and many of them women in their 40s and 50s who were starting over, reclaiming dreams and finding new purpose.

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow.
If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.”
— Gail Sheehy, Passages

What if this isn’t a midlife crisis at all… but an awakening?

As Brené Brown so beautifully says:

“Midlife is when the universe grabs you by the shoulders and says: ‘I’m not screwing around anymore.’”
It’s the moment we stop pretending, performing, and pleasing — and start finally listening to what we truly want.

It’s not just social conditioning the science backs it up too.

According to leading neuroscientist Dr Lisa Mosconi, menopause isn’t the end of your story it’s a neurological upgrade. While the ovaries may retire, the brain continues. We move from reproductive to productive Our brains become wired to lead with more clarity, wisdom and zero Fcks.

Based on the research am I having a midlife crises… I hope so! I want to grow and evolve and I personally believe it is a midlife awakening rather than a crises.

I think the real question in all of this is who says that dreams and goals have an expiry date?

Where is that set in stone?

Who says that joy, adventure, or reinvention is only for people under 40?

Words are the architects of our life they create the foundations we walk upon. If you truly think that life is over the hill, many women living 40% of their life post menopause, then that is a long way down.

What if life begins at 40. What new possibilities would that open up?

I ask you to gently challenge your belief soundtrack on what you believe is possible for you? Is it really true that the best days are behind you? That you chance of love, fun and joy are behind you?

What one small action can you do that brings more love and light in your life?
If that feels like a challenge to your belief system then try tapping on it.

I’m now so ready for Bhutan and the training has begun. I hope I inspire my girls when they reach their 40s and in perimenopause to know that anything is possible and that love, adventure, dreams and joy does not have an expiry date.

P.S - I offer a free no obligation trial to the Tapping Reset, if you would like to join the next live and see what we do inside then simply email hello@riseandvibewithjo.com and I will add your details to the next one.